Trudy and Matt Patch are among Somerset County Council’s younger foster caring couples. They currently live in Frome and have three boys of their own. They began fostering in June 2013 when they couldn’t have any more children of their own. They are fostering a 14 year-old girl long-term.
In Trudy and Matt’s video blog, which you can watch below, they talk about:
Why they got into fostering:
Trudy: “Just because we love children… we can’t have any more children of our own, and just thought about what can we do to fill our house up with kids.”
Matt: “It kind of started for me when my middle boy was new-born, so our eldest will have been about two or three; had my own business, so I was never at home, love children and it really got me down … so we took a big [life style change] because we are so child-centred, and so we went down the fostering route… it’s probably been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life, to be honest.”
Why they have chosen to foster a teenager:
Matt: “The reason why we sort of jumped up [in terms of our approved fostering age range] quite dramatically is that we were so enthusiastic to foster, and we were quite quiet on the old placement front … so we kind of pushed for this and thought, you know, we’re quite young at heart … so we thought, why can’t we foster teenagers?”
Trudy: “And actually we almost prefer it more than little people, though we love little people, it’s been really good.”
How it’s worked with their birth children:
Trudy: “We have three children of our own at home, and that’s worked really well actually. Our children are younger, and it’s worked really well – they’ve integrated fantastically, better than anybody was expecting, because they kind of don’t really have anything in common… but they just get along, it kind of works”
Matt: “[We] keep them involved as much as we possibly can.”
Trudy: “The fear of the unknown can be quite scary for children and actually our boys have coped fantastically well with it”
Why they love fostering:
Trudy: “I don’t think we would adopt now, we prefer fostering, only ‘cause … we like to have the change of different children. We just love it”
Matt: “We love the busy-ness of it. There’s always something to do, whether it’s as stupid as doing their washing or going to meetings with the local authority, there’s always loads to get involved with”
The challenges they find:
Trudy: “It’s quite challenging, it changes your life completely. It changes how you look at different things, it changes how you think about things, although Matthew and I are quite conscious parents anyway”
Matt: “We’re a big believer in boundaries and if you’re going to break that boundary there’s going to be a consequence…”
Trudy: “In that respect fostering can be quite challenging as the children that you look after come from somewhere you probably can’t even imagine…”
Matt: “It’s how you deal with it.”
On respecting the experience of children who need foster care:
Matt: “It’s a big deal for them as well coming into care. I think probably to them they perhaps don’t think that they’ve done anything wrong to be in care…”
Trudy: “And they haven’t. But I think for me the biggest challenge is realising that actually, when you’re a foster carer, you have to remember that you are a foster carer, and you are not…”
Matt: “You’re not trying to be their mum or dad”
Trudy: “’Cause more often than not they do have birth families that you have to work with as a team, in daily life… whether it comes down to a haircut or can they go out at the weekend, or holidays, so it’s all about working together, which is the most interesting part we find, of fostering.”
On the Somerset Foster Care Association:
Trudy: “We’re really pushing that as hard as we can to involve other foster carers, so you have someone to talk to who understands what it’s like to foster and have a foster child in your house, ‘cause actually that’s the biggest change ever, from having your own child in your house to having somebody else’s child in your house, and how you look after them and safeguard them.”
Who they would like to see become foster carers:
Trudy: “We need some more young, fresh blood…”
Matt: “Enthusiastic people that really want to make a difference, that really want to get involved, that wants to put that child first … take that child from whatever they’ve come from… ”
Trudy: “And let them experience life…”
Matt: “And try to educate and support them…”
Trudy: “So they can grow as a person, and hopefully in that time of them growing in your house…”
Matt: “You can make that little bit of difference.”
We’re currently seeking:
- Foster Carers for older children and young people
- People who could foster brothers and sisters
- Skilled individuals who can care for children with disabilities
- Understanding people who have the space in their lives to help a troubled teenager experiencing tough times.
Click here to start your Fostering journey with Somerset, phone 0800 587 9900 to make an enquiry today.
